It's 7:30am and I am awake. Surprise Surprise...I'm not surprised. I got a lot of things floating in this enlarged walnut of a brain I have that I figure needs exploitation to shut up. And well look who it is...the internet aka anti-christ.
Well I need to be at work by 10am to take a stupid menu test that I've been cramming for since 2am. Hmm...I know I'm a procrastinator, but I'd just like to brag that I am a strongly dedicated procrastinator that gets it done. Yeah, I'll just say about anything in attempt to justify everything.
I apologize for cursing in advance, I am a strong believer of it being raunchy, trashy, and degrading. Recognizing my hypocrisy immediately redeems it, right...?
Relationship, relationshits, friendship, and friendshits. That is what is really on my mind facebook. I'm at this awkward stage in my life where I'm trying to figure things out without looking stupid, but I'm guessing God must have a great sense of humor. I was thinking about how you're to be monogamous in a polygamous world. I've greatly accumulated commitment issues throughout the course of living in California and also sadly manage to accept the norm instead of practicing traditional Egyptian roots. As I matured and got older I finally recognized I should have just followed the path of those camel jockeys. Unfortunately, I feel like I've dived too deep and can't swim back up.
I noticed how I only get piercings, but never any tattoos. Piercings are far less of a commitment than a permanent tattoo. I rather have a tiny scar that a little concealer would cover up instead of a tramp stamp of a Bentley emblem. I'll save an entry for stupid tattoo's later. Maybe it's the stoner in me, but I was comparing my relationships to piercings and tattoos. I have my septum and my belly button pierced, but I rarely ever show them. Keeping my piercings hidden, just like all my relationships, possibility of leaving scar, just like any relationship, and not to mention the pain/healing process, which is just like any failed relationship. I get bored easily and anything permanent isn't really one of my favorite things. I'm guessing this must be the the cause of my nightmares about marriage. I've had multiple dreams of in which I was getting 'married' and my reaction was screaming bloody murder down the aisle, in a wedding dress, yelling at how much I did not want to.
I only pray that just changes, my spiritual life is non existent and it truthfully upsets me. In my attempts to go to church, all I can think about is if I will combust into flames at any minute. I'm kidding by the way, I attempt to follow along and been great since I learned how to read Coptic. I might not understand what I'm reading, but it keeps my eyes from wondering and judging middle eastern apparel that greatly need to be introduced to g-strings. I'm sorry, but for the record ladies please refrain from wearing florescent colored panties under your tight white buntalones.
Merci :)
Good night!
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