Drenched in douche.

Holy douche. Divine douche.

Dirty douche. Dick douche. Dumb douche. Delusional douche. Dysfunctional douche. Dip shit douche.

God, PLEASE discontinue douche.

Welcome to douche city, Los Angeles, California! It's finally come to this... I've finally built up enough anger and disgust to post a douche entry. I'm soaked and dripping in doucheness. It's become almost effortless to become a douche either because the world is breeding stupid girls that allow the reproduction of douche or accept this whole new generation of douche. Then again, maybe they're like me and one time douche it up and peace out. The only annoying part about 'peace-ing' out is that is exactly what douche wants. I'm dying to get douche back.

At one point in my life I started waitressing and working at Dublin's in downtown LA (douche capital). Even before that I was kind of seeing this douche that lived in LA. I had just broken up with this amazing guy that I accidently turned douche. I've had a long life filled with douche before him and it got nothing, but worse after. On the rebound, I started hanging out with him a lot. I was ready to fall in love with just about anything at that point because I wanted to get over my ex desperately because he had already started enjoying his freedom, which would drive any girl with a menstrual cycle NUTS.

I started enjoying my single life, but in the mist of all that I consistently stumbled upon the world of douche. I mean everyone has had a douche in their life, but damn I was and still am on this roll since 2009 falling in out of lust with these certified douches. I've been told I'm just looking in the wrong places or getting involved with the wrong people, but that is pure inexcusable bullshit. No matter who I pick or where I am it does NOT mean we should accept their filthy behavior. There's no way I can pick that many WRONG guys consecutively. Heh, yeah there is, but that's besides the point.

I seriously wish I could post all these names to give their future hook-ups a warning of the epitome of douche that will soon come heir way so they won't waste a second of their time. I can honestly say I've had more douche than love in my life. It's a really sad story, I feel bad for my future husband...he has a lot to make up and live up to now that I know what I sure as hell do NOT want. It's a bad idea to date young, once again the spiritually elder camel jockeys are right again. Boys are just stupid, the saddest thing about that is that some are considered men.

Douche is this new phenomena that should be considered it's own species.

I don't understand how hard is it to NOT be a douche. Simply respect a women, they have the possibility to barren your child and make your ass pay child support. Yeah, that's your weed money and condom money gone. Try to douche again now, bitch. If you're thinking you can just bone a bitch on birth control, ha those are the real crazy whores. Enjoy your STDs then, dick.

Shout out to the cunts that are dumb enough to stick around with the douchebags. Honey, he wants easy pussy and the best reoccurring pussy for him is the one on his nuts. Makes his job even more effortless. He's in love with hooking up and sadly you're the only one just in love. It makes you look stupid, desperate, and repeatedly dumb. You're glorifying the douche and making women look bad. The future younger breeds of douche are surrounding him...they see the pussy addicted to the asshole and the gesture is then passed along. That is how I believe douche has been unfortunately continuing from generation to generation.

That's enough douche talk for me today, but here is a visual on how to immediately spot out a douche.

If you don't want to listen to me, listen to Kanye.

Let's have a toast for the douchebags
Let's have a toast for the assholes
Let's have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast for the jerk-offs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Runaway fast as you can.

-Douche you later, dude.